It's About to Get Real Up In Here

So I'm about to get real personal up in here. I guess I get personal every day since this is my space on the interwebs, but today is something super duper personal. 
Anyways, something I have struggled with is my weight. I know thats a typical girl thing, but mine has gotten really bad over the past few years, 5 years to be exact. 
About 5 years ago I started a new job (which I have now left) and dealt with my boss calling fat and a oompa loopa everyday. He broke down any self-esteem I had and I came home and cried almost every night. The sad thing is, I was not fat in anyway. I was about 4'11/5'0 (depending on how I'm feeling that day) and about 105lbs. I hold my weight in my boobs and stomach area so I look heavier on the top half of my body. You would think that would cause me to turn to starving myself and loose a ton of weight. It was the exact opposite. I turned to food. 
Here is where it gets super personal. Let me preface what I am about to do with this: I do not believe in asking a girls weight or age. That is a personal thing for her and typically most girls don't feel great sharing it, even if its an awesome number. I also don't judge myself based on my number weight, I judge myself on my jean size and how my clothes fit. I don't care if I weight 300 lbs (which I don't) but fit into a size 2 pants (which I also know would not happen). But back to the point at hand, I am going to share my weight. I now weight 146 lbs (I fluctuate between that and 150). I have gained 40lbs in 2 years. That is a lot of weight. The worst part is, I have even less self-esteem then I had in 4 years ago because of my weight. 
I know I want to change. And I know I need to change. I just can't change. I was never the healthiest of eaters (but I have gotten a lot better thanks to Boyfriend) and I never really had to exercise. Now I need to and have no motivation to. I know I need to. 

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I found this quote today on Pinterest (my sad obsession when it's slow at work) and that is what prompted me to write this post. To declare to all who read this (and I know right now there aren't many) that I don't want to be at war with myself anymore. I am not sure how I am going to change but it is time I stop feeling that way I do (and I know Boyfriend, who loves me just the way I am, will be happy that I finally making this decision) and become a whole person again. 

So any help with motivation will help. I need to hold my self accountable. 

It's been real folks.